Melissa Thormahlen knows how to give me “all the feels.” I knew her story would impact many when her first email to me about her birth story had me tearing up.
She experienced most of her birthing experience at home with her first baby Emeline, before transferring to a hospital and having a beautiful birth.
For Tyler, baby number 2, she knew she wanted to go for a home birth again because she trusted her body and her amazing birth team.
In Tyler’s birth story, Melissa explains the trust and surrender to the process. She also took time to be close and intimate with her husband, Paul in the time before active labor.
When baby Tyler was born in the bathtub after a strong surge that took everyone by surprise she exclaimed, “I DID IT!”
We even get to hear from baby Tyler as he chimes in a couple of times. We love when the babies make little appearances, they’re the reason we’ve come together to chat afterall!
BONUS! Melissa emailed me a written version of her birth story before we got into it on the podcast. So for you readers out there, you can check out a very beautiful and detailed summary of Melissa's birth story below : )
Melissa Thormahlen's Home Birth Story
I'm sure you'll get lots of stories but I feel compelled to share mine. My little home birthed man, who is 11 weeks, is sleeping on my chest as I'm writing to you.
Tyler was born at home on October 22. I have an older daughter who is 2.5 years old and I also planned her birth to be at home but she had different plans. She was posterior and my labor with her was long and exhausting so we ended up transferring to the hospital with her at 9.5cm. When we decided to have our second I knew I could birth at home I had so much faith in my body and my team. I used the same doula but since we had moved I had a different midwife. With Tyler I got the amazing homebirth I always wanted.
I'm not sure how much of the story you wanted people to share via email but here is my birth story:
On Thursday October 19th at 1:30am my water broke. I was due October 26th. I got up to go to the bathroom and when I got back in bed I felt a blurb of water roll down and out. Then there was quite a bit of fluid. Not an alarming amount but enough to know I wasn't peeing myself. For about an hour after that I had contractions, but then they petered off and I feel asleep.
In the morning I called my mom to come pick up my 2.5 year old for her stay with grandma while we had the baby. Then called my midwife and doula and we we made a plan. Since my water had broken I was on a clock and I knew my labor had to start within 24-48 hours. Luckily my midwife felt comfortable waiting the 48 before going to the hospital for a medical induction. Shortly after my mom left with Emeline, Firen (my midwife) came to the house to check on baby, double check it was in fact my waters that ruptured, and bring herbs that were supposed to bring on labor.
All that day I tried to induce labor naturally. I took a combination of cotton, black cohosh and a labor tincture every 15 minutes for about 4 hours. I also was advised to do some nipple stimulation. I only had contractions if I was laying in bed on my left side. If I got up or moved they went away. I was beginning to become hard on myself. So at some point I told Paul (my husband) I wanted to get up and go for a walk. We got up and dressed and out we went. Because it was so close to Halloween we looked at all the decorated houses and talked about how fun it will be that our son will have a birthday so close to Halloween. We live relatively close to downtown so at the end of our walk we decided to go out to dinner. We had a wonderful time just the two of us. We came home and crawled into bed. I went to sleep that night and didn't have any contractions.
When we woke up on Friday Paul asked what I wanted to do and I said go get eggs Benedict so off we went. We had a wonderful love filled breakfast at a local restaurant, Chows. We snuggled and ate leisurely something that is harder to do with a toddler. After breakfast I figured I'd try one labor inducing activity, so I plugged in my breast pump. Besides the feeling of sore nipples and some very light contractions nothing came of it so I gave up. I decided instead that I should get my nails done so off I went. On my way into the nail salon I had my first good surge!
After getting my nails done I went home and took care of some things around the house. Alli my amazing doula came over around 2 and we walked to town. I was having some sort of regular contractions at this point but it still seemed like they could go away at a moments notice so it wasn't alarming. We went to The Coffee Shop and had smoothies, tea, Alli got a salad and a coffee and we sat outside and talked about random things. She was my doula with my first as well so we have a strong relationship. I had a few contractions while at the coffee shop where I needed to stop talking which meant I was making some progress.
We walked back to the house after that and I got into the shower. It was nice to rinse off and upon getting out I had a really nice strong surge. They were still about 20 min apart, but it was a welcome feeling. Even if they stopped I had a feeling they would return. Firen came and checked me out while Alli was still there and it was perfect to have the team together. The baby was doing great and so was I so there was no reason to change our plan of heading to the hospital the next morning for the Rupture of Membrane Test unless I went into labor that night....
Once Firen left we took Alli to Walnut Creek to meet her family. When we were heading home we noticed Skipolini's Pizza was in the area and they serve a Preggo pizza that is supposed to put you into labor. Since I was already having some contractions I figured it wouldn't hurt to try that too. We went in and had another nice meal together just Paul and I. I was having more regular surges and they felt like they were getting a bit more intense.
We went home after the pizza to regroup. We were supposed to go to a movie but it didn't start for a while so we came home first. Then we both realized how tired we were and crawled into bed. Amy my sister arrived at 9:00 we chatted with her for a bit and around 9:30I told everyone to get some sleep. My body must have know what was coming because I feel asleep fast and slept hard for 2 hours. At 11:30 I woke up to a really strong contraction. Paul immediately jumped into gear and supported me through each contraction. He lit candles around the house and put on Enya. It was so romantic and sweet. He supported me through each surge and told me sweet things after each one. He was my rock.
My sister had slept until around 2am when things became more serious and I needed help. Mentally I was having a hard time staying on top of the contractions. We called Alli to come over and she gave me two more positions to try. I got into the shower first and it felt like one long continuous contraction. I think there was too much pressure and it didn't feel good to stand. Then I sat backward on the toilet and Paul massaged me from behind. It was ok but I was having lots of thoughts of self doubt so I made Paul call Alli back and demand she come over. She arrived at 2:45. She witnessed a few contractions, had Amy make me oatmeal and bring me drinks. After a particularly strong contraction she decided to call Firen to tell her it appeared I was already bearing down. Firen came immediately arriving at 3:50. When she arrived I was laying on the bed, Alli behind me, Paul on my front and Amy by my feet. I was so supported. Firen began setting up and checking my vitals. She listens to baby and determined everyone was happy and healthy!
I made her wait a little before checking for dilation and when she finally did I was 7cm. Which was great progress for a second time mom. They all ensured me I would progress fast but I couldn't bare down anymore. So Alli would breath, hiss and huff through each contraction with me helping me to keep from pushing. Which I have to say might very well be the hardest part for me, not pushing when your whole body is screaming to do so. At some point Paul suggested I get into the bathtub because it could help me relax and keep me from pushing. So they set it up and I got in. It was wonderful but the surges were really strong and I kept saying how I was dreaming of an epidural. This is transition! My doula handed me a small elephant figurine and I clutched onto it like my life depended on it. In my head I kept saying "if an elephant can be pregnant for 2 years then I can do this".
At this point in the tub my surges were so strong I was having a hard time fighting the urge to push and they were coupling. It was a lot. I asked how long until they could check me again and my midwife told me she'd wait 10 more contractions, 30 more minutes. I didn't want to go a second longer without being able to push, so this was hard. I sunk into the water and clutched my elephant. I powered on. After only 4 more contractions she said she'd check me but I had to turn over to the other side of the tub.
When I got up to turn over I had the strongest surge yet which was immediately followed by another one. Once I laid back down in the tub Firen checked me and announced I was 10cm. She looked at me as said, "do you want to have this baby here or..." and just then another surge came and I pushed with all my might. I reached my hands down and got in two more pushes feeling my son's head emerge. Then at the tail end of the surge I pushed once more and out came his body. My doula describes this moment as Tyler swimming up into my arms. I pulled him onto my chest and felt overwhelming rush of joy and love. "I did it" was all I said for a good 5 min.
I wanted more than anything to have a homebirth and this experience was pure magic. After Tyler was born my husband and I and baby Tyler crawled into bed where I birthed the placenta. My doula made us a delicious breakfast and we ate and rehashed the whole night. Tyler came into this world at 5:29am in the bathtub at our home surrounded but love and faith in my body. I wish everyone could experience the joy that is natural birth in a way where the woman feels completely supported.
I hope you enjoy my story! Thank you for all you're doing to normalize homebirth. And congratulations on your precious little girl.