In this episode we're talking all about having sex after baby. Yes, this is the much anticipated followup to our episode about sex while pregnant (link below). Postpartum sex can be tricky, and for us it involved patience, compassion and creativity. But now, both Matthew and I can say without a doubt, that we're having the BEST SEX OF OUR RELATIONSHIP, and that's after pushing out a kid!
If you’ve listened to the Doing It At Home podcast for a while, you’ve probably gathered that Matthew and I value transparency a whole lot. It’s important for us to be as candid, raw and real as possible - because the greatest breakthroughs we’ve had as a couple and as individuals have been made possible by others showing the example of bold and authentic living.
It’s for this reason that we share parts of our experience of home birth and beyond - because if it helps and empowers anyone like others did for us, then we feel in our purpose and mission.
So that’s why we include talking about our sex life in the show’s topics. We covered sex while pregnant in episode 6 (check that out here). And now that we’re on the other side, we figured it was worth taking time to talk about postpartum sex.
Sex after giving birth is a whole other dimension of a sexual relationship - or at least it has been for us. It has brought its own set of unique opportunities and challenges.
For one thing, after some minor tearing during Maya’s home birth, I had some fears around how my vagina would heal and whether or not I’d ever be able to make love the way we used to (forget the possibility of expanding our repertoire or level of intimacy). I judged myself when I thought about the timeframe of when we’d return to having sex. When I asked other women how long they waited, I catalogued the responses and started comparing myself.
And when we did have sex for the first time after giving birth, I was a little disheartened and frustrated. It was pretty painful. So here I was back to the time I lost my virginity and thought, “Why would anyone ever want to have sex?! This is the worst thing ever. I can’t believe people do this and like it!” I saw what I thought would be a long road of recovery up ahead. Not to mention I was getting used to my new body - everything leaking and in a different position from where it was a year ago.
I am blessed to have an amazingly patient partner in Matthew. Over the course of postpartum recovery we worked together to communicate clearly and connect intimately. It’s been a process of opening up, drawing upon the trust and surrender process of giving birth, and allowing that to carry over into our sexual relationship.
It’s taken time, conversations, and some deep breathing...but now we’re at a place where the sex is juicier than it ever was! How is that possible? Listen to this episode and find out!