Who Should Be at Your Home Birth? Tips for Creating a Supportive Birth Team
Let’s talk about your birth team.
When you think about your birth team, picture the people you want to feel around you — not just the ones who want to be there. This isn’t about appearances or optics. It’s about who helps you feel calm, grounded, and completely yourself in one of the most powerful experiences of your life.
When Matthew and I were preparing for our first home birth, we didn't realize just how much thought and intention would go into deciding who would be with us on that day. We were surprised to find out how many layers there were to the decision, and how many dynamics it would stir up. It was a process that taught us a lot—not just about planning for birth, but about boundaries, clarity, and love.
So here we are, sharing some of that process with you. Not as a how-to or a checklist, but as a gentle prompt to pause and reflect. To ask yourself what you want your birth space to feel like, and who you want there to help hold and protect that vision.
Your Team is Part of the Energy of the Birth
Everyone you invite into your birth space brings something with them. Energy. Emotions. Intentions. Beliefs about birth. And when you're opening yourself up—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—that energy impacts everything.
We realized early on that more people didn't necessarily mean more support. In fact, too many people could feel overwhelming. Especially in the intimate setting of our home. So we started tuning into what would actually feel supportive for us—not just what was expected, or what others might want.
Start With the Feeling
Instead of starting with a list of names, we asked ourselves: what kind of energy do we want around us on birth day? How do we want to feel? Safe? Empowered? Grounded? Loved?
From there, we thought about what kinds of support could help cultivate that environment. For us, that looked like having someone just for me, someone just for Matthew, someone to help with the logistics, and someone to document the birth. But that’s just what made sense for us. Your vision might look totally different—and it should, because your birth is yours.
Clarify What Matters Most
Once we got a sense of the energy and roles we wanted filled, we got clear on what mattered most to us in the people we would invite into our birth space. Here are a few things that guided our choices:
They needed to be actively supportive of home birth.
They needed to have some form of experience with birth (either their own, or someone else's).
They needed to bring calm, loving, present energy.
They needed to be able to support either of us fully, without judgment or fear.
These weren’t rigid rules. But they were helpful guideposts when navigating family dynamics or tough conversations.
Navigating the Emotions
Not everyone will understand your choices. Some people might be disappointed. We experienced that firsthand. There were people close to us who were hurt by not being invited, and it created emotional ripple effects that we had to work through.
What helped us most was having clarity. Once we were grounded in why we were making certain decisions, we were able to communicate from a place of love and certainty. It wasn’t personal. It wasn’t about favoritism. It was about protecting the birth space and honoring what felt right for us.
Things Might Change
You may shift your team as your pregnancy unfolds. You may add someone at the last minute because their energy suddenly feels essential. You may ask someone to step out of the room during labor because you need more space. All of that is okay.
This isn’t about having the "perfect" team. It’s about building something that feels aligned with your needs, your values, and your vision.
What Roles Could Be Helpful?
Just to give you a window into what a team can look like, here are a few of the roles we had covered:
Someone focused solely on supporting me emotionally and physically.
Someone whose job was to look after Matthew and make sure he was fed, hydrated, and emotionally supported.
A person designated to document the birth through photos and videos.
A friend who helped with meals, dog walks, and all the little things that kept the house flowing.
These roles supported us in feeling more present and less scattered. But that doesn’t mean they’re must-haves. We’re sharing them so you can imagine what support might look like for you.
One Final Reflection
This is your space, your experience, and your sacred unfolding into parenthood.
You are allowed to think deeply about who you want to witness that. You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to change your mind. You are allowed to choose based on energy, not obligation.
The people you choose to surround yourself with in birth have the capacity to amplify the love, peace, and power you already hold within you.
So choose intentionally. And trust that you know what you need.